Val and the Sword

Val & The Sword

 

V1 11.26.18

 

-Tom

 

It had taken six weeks, Six weeks of trudging through dense forests and smelly bogs. Six weeks since the Wizard had sent him to task.  Six long weeks of scaling small cresting mountains and navigating monster infested caves and dungeons. All that time, foraging for clues and defeating countless enemies all in the hopes for a damn sword. 

 

He had been carrying a well maintained standard ORDER OF ORDER issued long sword, it had served him very well through his quest, but the quest was over and The warrior and ORDER OF ORDER candidate called Val was ready to level up.  He dropped the long sword and pulled a glowing blade from the claws of a statue of the Goblin God “grogrog”.

 

This was the best moment of Val’s life.

 

Val stood at the heart of a dungeon admiring his prize. Corpses of Goblins and pygmy wolves lay in pieces scattered about the place. It had all been worth it. Now there was no possible way he wouldn’t pass his exams.  The sword was imbued with power and radiated promise. Val’s confidence swelled.

 

He had two weeks to make the return trip for his exams. Val made no delay and arrived home three days ahead of schedule. He encountered nothing of note and found that luck was seemingly in his favor. 

 

Val was three hours early for the exams, eager to test his new sword and take his place among the most elite warriors in Acre city.

 

Val demolished the written exam and dramatically turned in his papers before brandishing his new sword and rushing to the Combative yards.

 

The sword hummed in Val’s hands as he waited to fight. He was feeling powerful and he harbored no fear for the coming fight. He was ushered to the arena, survive the next three minutes and glory was his. It came with a salary and retirement, a shiny new suit of armor and a position in the venerable Knights in the ORDER OF ORDER.

 

There was a small crowd and Val was happy people would witness his rise to glory. His opponent was another candidate of similar stature, though he did not see any magic swords in his possession. Val felt sorry for the guy, after his defeat he’d maybe find work as a security guard at the Acre City Mall.

 

The horn blew and Val charged. His sword was singing in the sunlight, Self-esteem fueled his attack. He was operating on raw self-belief and wouldn’t have had it any other way. He felt an ensured sense of victory, until his sword met his opponents and then immediately shattered into a thousand pieces and disintegrated into dust. Val stood with nothing but a very ornate hilt and a wounded ego.

 

“Fuck”  gasped Val

 

“Fuck is right broh,” said his enemy as he smiled and took another swing at Val.

 

 

other stuff.

we are going to be dropping some new stuff here which will all be adjacent to our podcast. We'll be doing all kinds of things, screen printing, brewing beer, telling spooky stories, working on things around our house, This will be the blog page that follows that, for now aptly named: Other Stuff.

 

that overflow content is just Andrea and I piddling about and working on new things that interest us, hopefully it will be awesome, probably it will be overflowing with wtf moments and realizations that we in fact drink and know nothing.